One morning I awakened and realized I was an addict. I don't remember how I got there or what brought me to that place in my life, I just knew I didn't like it and I wanted out.
Like many addicts before me I had a somewhat troubled past with the loss of my mother at a very young age and a not so good relationship with my father after her passing, as well as older siblings that were also addicts.
Kind of stereotypical situation and one that is heard time and time again. I had children of my own and had the Child Protective Agencies of my state try their hardest to remove them from my care, but, somehow I knew I didn't want to lose my children.
I was certain my life would not be worth living if they weren't a part of it, so I knew I had to make some changes before it was too late. Here's the thing, where do you go when you have burned all of your bridges with your family and friends? When the state you live in has close to no assistance for women in your situation and you are stuck between a rock and a hard place?
If you are someone who is still not very strong and not very convinced that you want to seek help then naturally you turn to what you are used to, what for you is "the Norm", using drugs. No one is to blame for your relapse, or shall I say lapse of judgement, but had you had a motivator in your corner, someone who had not given up on you, maybe just maybe you would've made it thru.
I had that one person, and literally I say ONE person who did not give up on me and knew I had it in me to change but just needed that extra word of encouragement or that extra push. Today I am in my last year of undergrad studies and I am an office manager for a non profit org. that assists and consults formerly and presently incarcerated women and substance abuse women with the help needed to take that extra step forward to change. I am also interning at another Organization that advocates for pregnant women with substance abuse problems. I know that in this present day there are still so many women out there in the same situation as I was not so long ago, looking for a helping hand, a shoulder to cry on or and ear to listen, and my goal is to reach as many as I possibly can and let them know, Don't give up, you can really do it, I did.