Catholicism, alcoholism and drugs

 My catholic upbringing never prevented me from going beyond limits exploring new sensations; however its rigorous dogma and doctrine made me for a long time questioning the sanity of my emotions. It is true that I had never have to confess for being drunk or smoking like a chimney but when it came to marihuana that was a different matter.

I remember my school days very clearly with twenty Camels or Chesterfields always in my pockets. I remember too how the Opus Dei teachers and priests of my school encouraged us to smoke not only to probe our manhood but also as a form of proselytism. If you were a good student, you could always enjoy a cigarette break with your tutor in his office to chat about God, sainthood, heaven or hell. You could really associate those moments of freedom from the tedious classes with the taste of the tobacco in your mouth. Smoking in those days was good and God protected you.

With alcohol I have a similar experience, I saw once a young priest finishing a bottle of wine in just two gulps, or I could also talk about my alcoholic Jesuit teacher who was famous for always having a complete mini-bar in his office and getting totally trashed with other students when on school trips. Regrettably, I never had the chance to drink with him because by the time I became his student he was already out of his mind, with a perpetual body shake and a bizarre sense of what the discipline of being a Jesuits entailed. It was funny though, how the Jesuistic hypocrisy worked. On the one hand, teachers were obsessed with controlling our whereabouts during the weekends. They wanted to prevent us from our drinking and they wanted to know all the details of our activities on Monday morning. And for that they had their spies or at least they knew very well how to make students talk. On the other they kept that drunkard in charge of our formation.

Drugs were out of the question, any reference to them supposed that the person who had mentioned them instantly became a drug addict and that meant isolation, exclusion from those called to reach the highest goals. You could easily be accused of smoking pot in front of your parents even if you had not had a joint in your life. You could be condemned to spend the rest of your school days with the groups of the lost causes, those who, for whatever adolescent reasons, could no find their way around and what is even worse you risked becoming another anonymous victim of scholar failure just because there was not information around. I can picture very well now how I was called to the office of my teachers to report on my (inexistent!)  knowledge about drug trafficking in the school. The reason was very clear I was different and hence a drug user, even though at that stage I had never touched the staff. However I was beginning to feel the attraction for that marginal world just because I hated the system that was sentencing me.

I was becoming a rebel because I did not trust them. My faith had gone and I was alone in middle of a big nonsense. The real hash smokers in my school did not want to be with me because they thought I was a tattletale and the good students thought I was an addict. A high barrier of misunderstandings divided my school and I was nowhere to be seen. Crying for help was useless as there was no place to go. Jesus was making his distinctions and he had clearly forgotten me. I refused to believe and I was put under observation. My tutor recommended me talk to another priest who happened to be a psychologist. During our first conversation he proudly mentioned that Christianity had ended with all Roman decadence and promiscuity, after that I decided to remind quiet for the rest of my days at that horrible place. Silence only made things worse because I reached a point where I could not find anyone to talk to. Not even at home

So my imagination grew and so did my repression. For years after that I had to live with the feeling that I was not going to be accepted anywhere and that my ideas were the product of an act of resistance against catholic indoctrination. I began to drink, but the fear of draining my thoughts and wishes in alcohol put me away from actually enjoying it. When I was drunk all I could think about was starting a revolution and when the effects finally disappeared I realised that I was still on my own. I needed to go out but I could not. I was trapped and although I thought I could fly away from their ideas they always forced my return. I hated them as much as they hated me despite that their hate was called education. And so I became a survivor until many years later I found by chance in marihuana the freedom to puke the secrets of my silent world.

Comments - Ever since the overhaul of the organization in 2009, stability has been lacking for the Chiefs with the hiring of general manager Scott Pioli and head coach Todd Haley. In 2010 they welcomed a new defensive coordinator and in both 2010 and 2011, they received new offensive coordinators. Promoted from defensive coordinator is their new head coach Romeo Crennel and offensive coordinator Brian Daboll. Although Crennel will continue to work the defense, the Chiefs are hoping they don't have a repeat of last years failures. In four years this team as dealt with four offenses. In nine games, quarterback Matt Cassel struggled, throwing 10 touchdown passes and nine interceptions, before breaking his right hand to end his season. Replacing him first was unproven Tyler Palko and then journeyman Kyle Orton. Three injuries took out three starters in tight end Tony Moeaki, running back Jamaal Charlies and strong safety Eric Berry. Due to the defense strong second half performance, they managed to produce the teams only Pro Bowl participants in inside linebacker Derrick Johnson with 131 tackles and outside linebacker Tamba Hali with 12 sacks. On the flip side, the defense and special teams added nothing to the team with no gamechanging plays. - According to SeversonBaker, the question is what will happen if the geology at Primrose is to blame."[If - the problem is inherent to the project itself, are they going to remove the permits for the project?" Even so, he claims the damage might already be done. "At this point, what can actually be done to prevent the impact from continuing to occur?I don't think there is anything that can be done."Canada's Enbridge Inc. - The week five matchup between the Invaders and Blue Devils turned out to be a treat, as the teams combined for nearly 900 yards of offense and 76 points in a backandforth shootout. Brunswick prevailed 4234, but Normandy proved its strength in taking the stateranked Blue Devils to the limit. Brunswick senior wideout Jordan Gribble was a difference maker, hauling in three touchdown passes and recording an interception on defense. Strongsville entered the season with a veteran nucleus and some dynamic playmakers on offense. They looked like worldbeaters in their first game, wiping out St. Edward 390. However, the wheels began to fall off and the Mustangs never realized their potential. They stumbled to a 64 campaign and missed the playoffs altogether. - Locksmith fraud has been a growing concern of the legitimate locksmith companies here in Phoenix. Not only do the swindlers take the initial business away from quality companies, but they leave the consumer with such a bad experience that they never seek locksmith services again. One recent women called us to find out what a normal charge was for a house rekey after being charged $1,200 by one of these con artists!! - I'm glad he landed in New England. He's on a football team that's a very good football team and he can help them."Safety Rodney Harrison has matched up with his share of tight ends during the years, but few compare to Kansas City's Tony Gonzalez.The NFL's alltime leader in receptions (820) and touchdowns (66) at his position, Gonzalez kicks off his 12th season on Sunday and will likely spend more than a little time being defended by Harrison."He's the best that ever played the game," Harrison said. - This year marks the fourth year of the deal and in week 8 the Bills took on the Washington Redskins in Toronto. Both of these international series serve a big purpose for the NFL as talk has swirled. Firstly with the International Series in London the talk has become whether or not the NFL would attempt to make a team overseas. - "Before I begin, I want to acknowledge one particular member of my administration who I'm extraordinarily proud of and does not get much credit, and that is USAID Administrator, Dr. Raj Shah, who is doing great work with faith leaders. (Applause.) Where's Raj? Where is he? There he is right there. Raj is doing great work with faith leaders on our Feed the Future global hunger program, as well as on a host of other issues. We could not be prouder of the work that he's doing. I also want to acknowledge Congressman Mike McIntyre and his wife, Dee. (Applause.) Mike as some of you know, obviously, North Carolina was ravaged by storms this past weekend, and our thoughts and prayers are with all the families who have been affected down there. I know that Mike will be helping those communities rebuild after the devastation. - But for the last, oh I dont know, 5 or 10 years, he has carried out his annual disingenuous, contemplation He will lead you to believe, that he just a simple country boy who loves the game but isn sure his body can hold up. While anyone with half a brain can see that he leads the media around like the pied piper. ESPN, the largest and however, least credible sports news source, has happily obliged for all these years. Every year from the time Brett throws his annual playoff interception to knock his team out of their Super Bowl run, to the time he finally decides to report to his team, ESPN force feeds the WATCH down all our throats. ESPN has its play dumb and actually act like they believe that he will really retire TIME ITS FOR REAL so as to build up the drama and boost ratings and stroke Lord Favre ego. - Johnson said it isn't just the players who are grieving. His wife, Tamika, was close with Perkins. Tamika Johnson has already traveled to Texas to be with members of Perkins' family. Johnson said he is will join her there later. Details of a second memorial service for Perkins in Austin and for Belcher on Long Island have not been released. - Ran a toss play and ended up getting it fell on the wrong way, the Giants running back said of the play that temporarily knocked him out of Sunday victory over the Buccaneers. was a high ankle sprain . and it just lingers. who played through the pain of the injury on his way to 104 yards on the ground against Tampa, said he should be ready for the Chiefs this coming weekend.

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