My Fantasy Coffee Shop

The year is 2020. Cannabis is now legal and is regulated by our wonderful government and I have recently been given my licence to open a coffee shop in my city, Canterbury, Kent.

I wanted to open up a coffee shop for a number of different reasons. Firstly, I thought that it would be an amazing job to have. Imagine it. You have a regular supply of weed that is of the highest quality, you are able to differentiate between sativa and indica strains effectively and you can grow your own supply! What could be better?

Not only that; the profit margins would be incredible. It would cost, including all costs for nutrients and electricity bills around £2,000 for a small grow of 18 plants. The idea is to get a gram per watt. If I were to use two 600 watt lights, I could potentially cultivate between 1000 to 1200 grams of dried cannabis.

As I would distribute the cannabis through my new coffee shop, I would be selling it at around £10 per gram, bringing me a total of £10,000 to £12,000. Minus my initial cost of £2,000 to buy the tent, lights, filtration system, electricity (which is on average £25 per week), soil and nutrients etc. can earn me a very tidy sum. Remember after your first grow, you don’t need to buy more lights or tents etc. so the profit margin will only get greater.

It is also important to consider taxation costs. Let us assume that it would be at around 20% or your profits. Also assuming that I would get £10,000 profit, I am still earning £8,000 from this miniature sized initial grow.

The question then is, how quickly would I sell out and would this even be enough to sustain my coffee shop? Personally, I feel as this would only last a week or two, so it would be time to consider doing even greater sized grows, on a much more frequent basis. Maybe have three or four grows of 54 plants each in rotation, harvesting one grow per month, potentially  earning me £96,000 minus taxes every three to four months. Imagine the tax revenue the government could earn from this small establishment.

When considering how much rent would cost, looking online I found the perfect commercial retail property in the middle of Canterbury town centre going for £55,000 per annum (link to property here). This would mean that I would have to invest that money beforehand, but sure enough, if my business plan goes well, I would be making that back within the first three months of my coffee shop opening.

My fantasy coffee shop will be relatively small with a lovely variety of different kinds of cannabis strains. It would be of upmost importance to have at least one pure indica and one pure sativa strain. It would also be nice to try and get hold of the more ‘old-school’ strains such as northern lights and purple haze.

Inside my coffee shop, I would like it to be very relaxed, and a place for people to come and enjoy their time there. It would be decorated similarly to a shisha café, but have some significant differences. It would have a more ‘stoner’ feel to it and be dimly lighted. There would also be a few hammocks inside because who wouldn’t want to sit in a hammock whist smoking?

The kind of music that I would play would vary greatly. I would play chill-out music such as songs you can find on the ‘majestic casual’ channel on YouTube, as well as reggae, Jimi Hendrix, hip-hop and some minimal, downtempo psychedelic music. I don’t think I could cut out any genre of music out completely, there would have to be a great amount of variation.

It would be a place that people would want to relax in, surrounded by like-minded people, and good chilled out music and most importantly, a place where one could go to buy the finest weed available.

Sadly though... The year is not 2020. Cannabis is still an illicit class B substance and the country isn’t benefiting from the potential tax that could be generated from coffee shops like mine. It seems then, that this fantasy of mine shall have to wait.